Don't Let Me Get Me

Well, it finally happened.  Fifteen months on the road, the last 7 of which have been on the opposite coast, and I had hands down, the worst days of travel in my entire life.  On Tuesday morning I was to catch a plane in Reno at 10:40.  I awoke to a message we would leave at 11:15, from there it was a series of 15 minute delays, pushing the flight further and further back like some sort of Chinese water torture.  At first, I really didn't mind.  I was to have a four hour layover in Dallas anyway, so doing that delay from my hotel room in Reno meant less time in Dallas, or so I thought.  Well, let's just say by the time the airline was done delaying flight one, my whole layover in Dallas had evaporated and I was down to a whopping 14 minutes.  Looking for guidance, I made the mistake of asking the gate agent what to do.  Was I going to make it?  Without even checking or offering alternatives, I got a simple,"You can try."  Well, there was to be no "try" as maintenance issues kept us grounded in Reno for another hour, I missed my connection and was booked at 5:20 the next morning.  This left me a quick four hour nap at a nearby hotel in Dallas, without my bag, before I could attempt to get home again.  Everything seemed fine the next morning, or should I say, the middle of the night as I had to be up by 3......  I had ran into the pilot at Starbucks, he assured me all was good so far that morning.  I guess that's why I found it odd he was standing at the door to the jet bridge with the crew sipping coffee when we were long past boarding.  Ultimately, they took a seat in the gate area, and we clearly were not going to leave on time.    As it turns out, the power was out on the jet bridge and they didn't know how to fix it.  I found myself again experiencing  a bit of anxiety watching my next layover in Philly evaporate too, just as it had the day before.  I attempted to talk to the gate agent there, who, just like the agent in Reno, had nothing to offer. I just had to sit tight.  I landed in Philly with 20 minutes to spare.  It took me ten to get to the gate, which of course had to be OJ Simpson style, as I had to go across three concourses, only to find out they had shut the doors five minutes prior and were not allowing me on.  They dismissively issued me another boarding pass for 4.5 hours later.  What happened then??  The incoming flight diverted to a different airport.  We were told "weather" by a supervisor for the airlines.  When asked what kind of timetable we were on she replied simply,"No deadlines here.  We could literally be at this until 3:00 in the morning." Probably not the right thing to say to an angry mob.   All in, I landed at my home airport 28 hours after I started the process.  I was exhausted physically and mentally.  I was jet lagged, starving and in desperate need of a shower, but I was home.  

Never win first place, don't support the team,

I can't take direction, and my socks are never clean

-P!nk                                            

As I sat listening to P!nk biding my time ever so impatiently at the Philly airport, I'd love to tell you I was the model patient passenger, that I was simply listening to music and waiting for my flight with confidence in the airline team.  Well, that would be a lie.  I clearly was not winning here.  I was angry and wondered what karma gods I pissed off to have roadblock after roadblock in some apparent conspiracy to prevent me from going home.  Oh yes, my wallowing game at the Philly airport was strong, and one thing P!nk had right, my socks were not, in fact, clean.

As I was dealing with all of this, ironically, I had asked my tribe this week to consider what barriers exist in their own lives that prevent them from staying on the road to good physical and mental health.  Well, for me those two days it was lack of sleep, jet lag, lack of appetite and feeling like a prisoner to the airlines.  As I had a little time on my hands,  I started reviewing the feedback of one of my trusted group had sent me.  At the outset, she identified several barriers, too busy, yummy tasting unhealthy snacks that were easier to get into than preparing healthy food, lack of motivation.....  her list went on.  In my years in the motivation business, it was nothing I hadn't seen or experienced before until she said it,"in other words, me.  I am my biggest barrier."

Doctor doctor, won't you please prescribe me something?

A day in the life of someone else,

'Cause I'm a hazard to myself.

And with that simple phrase, I realized my group member and P!nk may be on to something.  I think as in most things we can color the barriers any way we like.  I can blame the airlines for this week.  I can blame my job for sending me to the west coast constantly.  I can blame myself for not pushing forward when the path wasn't clear.  Admittedly getting so wrapped up in these notions, it was easy to wish at times  I could have just that.  A day in the life of someone else.  The reality is that some of these perceived barriers really are self imposed at times, and there still may be opportunity for a certain level of control over the ones that were not.  Maybe I had to change my thinking

Is it possible I had been thinking about these barriers to get home all wrong?  Maybe instead of playing the victim, and thinking about those 28 hours as lost time, I could identify things that actually contributed to my health in a positive way.  You know, I went back and looked, I logged 8352 steps running through airports, a full 3.5 miles, let's call that OJ Simpson sprint my,"Philly Cardio 2024".  I suppose with all the chain restaurants available I could have eaten garbage, I didn't.  I also, despite my wallowing, I spent a fair amount of time interacting with my elephant tribe as they are working on their goals, and helping them identify their own battles going forward.  I further found myself texting or on the phone with trusted friends to help the time pass and keep my spirits up.  So, just maybe instead of thinking this was a horrific waste of time, I could be less of a hazard to myself and celebrate what I was able to accomplish to feed my body, mind and spirit despite extreme circumstances, rather than feeling like I failed my own health those couple of days.

Everyday I fight a war against the mirror

Don't let me get me

Maybe 2024 is the time to focus on the hazards we bring to ourselves and truly begin the war with the mirror, tackling one little battle at a time.  Much like my trip home, there will be barriers in our midst.  Some will seem insurmountable, and some will even seem out of our control.  However, if we start to train ourselves to break them down into small pieces with small bursts of decisive action, and recognize there can be good health even in bad circumstances, there will always be a way to push forward to help us to find our way home together, one elephant bite at a time.